UEFA Champions League 2023–24 Group Stage : Review
Aaaand breathe… We’re officially done with European nights for 2023, and we’ve had some insane shockers along the way (Yes, United, it’s you). As always, European nights have produced some brilliant moments of football, giving the sport’s biggest stars a chance to show off their mettle on the (second?) biggest stage. And as always, they have delivered some classic showdowns. So without further ado, let’s get right into it.
(Teams in bold have qualified for the Round of 16, and teams in italics drop down to the Europa League playoffs)
Group A : Bayern Munich, Copenhagen, Galatasaray, Manchester United
I have to admit, I badly underestimated Copenhagen, and severely overestimated United. Manchester United delivered their worst ever Group Stage in this tournament, with just 4 points out of a possible 18. They were outclassed in almost every game, and were meek and lacked in initiative. Even when thrust into a must-win encounter against Bayern, they showed no effort to even try and win the match, while Bayern were composed and energetic, trying to create chance after chance.
Bayern, as usual, kept dominating the Group Stage, but have actually dropped their levels a bit. Their defense doesn’t seem to be a massive stronghold, and Neuer is no longer as sharp as he once was. Jamal Musiala, though, is an absolute delight to watch, and paired up with Harry Kane and Leroy Sane in attack, is a lethal combination no team in Europe wants to face.
But the biggest surprise of this group has been Copenhagen. The Danish champions managed 2 wins, draws and defeats each, with the highlight being a 0–0 draw away to Bayern. Not conceding against Bayern is a massive statement performance to any Group winner who dares underestimate them, especially when you consider Barcelona conceded 11 without reply across 4 consecutive clashes. Roony Bardghji has been a revelation, as is Oscar Hojlund, and you bet some of Europe’s elites will be sniffing around for these two.
Oh, in case you missed it, Rasmus Hojlund is the current top-scorer in the UCL.
Group B: Arsenal, PSV, Lens, Sevilla
What a glorious return to Europe’s top elite for the Gunners. 13 points, 16 goals scored, and except for that ridiculous performance against Lens, Arsenal have been brilliant this season. That 6–0 win against Lens seemed completely out of spite, and they looked like vicious predators. The key to Arsenal’s success lies in cohesion, and they aren’t dependent on just one player to bag the goals. Arsenal have had 8 different scorers, with Jesus leading the line with 4 goals to his name. This is a side wanting to show everyone that they’re back to being among Europe’s top elite, but they’re not completely there yet. A maiden title may not be on the cards, but they surely have the potential to make life hell for anyone who stands in their way (unless that team is called Aston Villa).
Also, what have Sevilla done here? Not even a chance to defend their precious Europa League? They haven’t won a single game this season, and have been absolute garbage, maybe trying to act as a saving grace for Manchester United. Newcomers Lens on the other hand really took the Group runners up race to the wire, but were edged out by PSV. The Dutch outfit is on fire this season, atleast domestically, with 15 wins in as many matches. They’re the only team in all of Europe’s first divisions with a perfect domestic record so far. If that doesn’t scare the shit out of any Group winner, then I have no clue what will.
Group C : Real Madrid, Napoli, Braga, Union Berlin
Simple, straightforward, and no surprises at all. Real went 6 for 6, being the only team this season alongside defending Champions Manchester City to have a perfect record so far. Jude Bellingham keeps delivering class performances week in week out, and I see no team stopping them in the Round of 16. They’re just too good, and will be even stronger come February when some of their injured stars are back in action.
I honestly expected Napoli to put up a stronger fight against Madrid, but Spalletti’s departure has really hit this team hard. Victor Osimhen, the best footballer in Africa, is still amazing, as is Kvaratskhelia, but the tactical nous Spalletti brought seems to be missing. This team is a shadow of its former self, that made it to the Quarters last season and won the Serie A. Still, they should go toe-to-toe with nearly any of the group winners, except maybe Bayern and Man City.
Group D: Real Sociedad, Inter Milan, Benfica, Red Bull Salzburg
What a superb group stage from the Basque outfit. Never did I expect Sociedad to top a group with Benfica and Inter Milan in it. Imanol Alguacil has really kicked things up a notch this season, and Sociedad are just brilliant all over the pitch, willing to take risks and letting their young, talented attacking players loose to wreak havoc in domestic and continental competition. Take Kubo is having the time of his life, and I would really love to see this team take on PSG.
Inter Milan have picked up where they left last season, and Lautaro Martinez, paired with Marcus Thuram really add something to this team. The 3–5–2 still works just as well for the Nerazzurri, and they just miss out on top spot due to head-to-head aggregate. Benfica, on the other hand, snatched third place from Salzburg in the dying moments of the last game, but they have had highly disappointing campaign in Europe so far, and deservedly drop into Europe’s second tier.
Group E: Atletico Madrid, Lazio, Feyenoord, Celtic
Just like I said, Atletico won, Celtic were mauled by everyone except the final game, and Atleti are through with Lazio. No drama, no shocks, Just simple plain football like we all expected it.
Except maybe the way Atletico have been playing this season. Since when do Atletico… attack? Weren’t they a team that scored like once every game and defended with two blocks of 4? Seems like things have changed drastically this season, with the Rojiblancos netting 17 times in 6 games. Only Man City have scored more. Sheesh. Although 6 of those 17 came against a helpless Celtic side reduced to 10 men, but Morata and Griezmann have been on fire so far. Atletico have truly redeemed themselves after a dismal showing last year when they were dead last in their group.
Group F: Borussia Dortmund, Paris Saint-Germain, AC Milan, Newcastle United
Ouch, that was brutal for Newcastle. They went from second to fourth in the space of 45 minutes. Dortmund were already through heading into the last matchday, and all Newcastle had to do to qualify was beat Milan, hoping PSG would draw. PSG survive to live another European night, inspite of that famous 4–1 defeat at St. James Park. This was a heavily topsy-turvy group, with standings shifting everytime a goal was scored. It is a little surprising to see Dortmund actually topping the group of death, but they have really churned out those wins, conceding only 4 goals in 6 games.
Group G: Man City, RB Leipzig, Young Boys, Red Star Belgrade
And the champions go steamrolling into the knockouts. 6 wins in 6 games, 18 goals scored. Who can throw a wrench into Pep’s perfect plans? City haven’t been amazing in England this season, but Europe is a whole different story. Also, anyone who thought if Wolves can do it, so can we, just remember Kevin De Bruyne will be up and running by February, which means Erling Haaland will be firing again. So be careful what you wish for.
Leipzig did what they had to do to qualify behind City, win the other 4 games, and that’s exactly what they did. They were much better this time around, as they didn’t concede 5 in a game to Haaland, and also scored 13 times in 6 games. Lois Openda has been a revelation this season, and the young duo of Xavi Simons and Benjamin Sesko is sure to attract a lot of potential buyers, either in January or the Summer. Their domestic has been great too, and they play their own signature style of attacking football, and will be menace to anyone who even lets their guard down slightly (i.e. Barcelona)
Group H: FC Barcelona, Porto, Shakhtar Donetsk, Royal Antwerp
Finally! Barcelona make it to the Knockouts after a 2 year gap, but they really made a mess of it. They started off in amazing fashion, with a 5–0 over Antwerp, followed by narrow, but hard-fought wins over Porto & Shakhtar. But when is anything ever straightforward with this team? They had to go on and lose to Shakhtar Donetsk, but managed to qualify on MD5 against Porto. And seriously, who the **** loses to Antwerp? Conceding in the first and last minute of the game. Barcelona are really poor at the time of writing, and as much as it pains me to write this, are probably the weakest of all the Group winners.
Porto and Shakhtar really went down to the wire in a classic match, that ended 5–3 to the Portuguese side. 8 goals scored in 90 minutes of end-to-end football, and Porto join Barca in the Round of 16. This is a team that may not look very menacing on paper, but has the potential to make life difficult for any team. Mehdi Taremi is a beast of a striker, while Galeno and Evanilson share 4 goals apiece. There is no one true star to this team, and that is what makes them a strong side.
On the bottom of this group, are newcomers Antwerp. Life was dull and gloomy for the Belgians, with 5 defeats in their first 5 games, but Barcelona have brought a lovely sense of joy to this little club, losing 3–2 in what is Antwerp’s first ever European win. It is a very kind gesture on the Blaugrana’s part, giving Antwerp a taste of victory, with the top spot already clinched. (This is sarcasm, in case anyone didn’t get it)
Final Round of 16 Lineup
Group Winners : Bayern Munich (Germany), Arsenal (England), Real Madrid (Spain), Real Sociedad (Spain), Atletico Madrid (Spain), Borussia Dortmund (Germany), Manchester City (England), FC Barcelona (Spain)
Runners-Up : FC Copenhagen (Denmark), PSV Eindhoven (Netherlands), Napoli (Italy), Inter Milan (Italy), Lazio (Italy), Paris Saint-Germain (France), RB Leipzig (Germany), FC Porto (Portugal)
